We Tasted and Ranked All the Four Loko Flavors We Could Find (2024)

After tasting eight Four Loko flavors, I’m happy to say they’re just as much of a shock to the system as they were when they included caffeine. They still have that acidic twinge. They still come in vibrant colors that do not belong in the human body. And they still pack a punch—albeit only alcoholic (Four Loko flavors range from 12% to 13.9% ABV). If you, too, are interested in revisiting Four Loko, you don’t have to try eight Four Loko flavors, like we did. You can just read our ranking of Four Loko flavors and skip straight to the best Four Loko flavors.

Before we get to the ranking, let’s tackle the question of what happened to Four Loko. Originally, when it first launched in 2008, Four Loko contained caffeine, taurine, and guarana as well as 6% ABV. But in 2010, the company removed that energy drink trio from the formula. Why? There were hospitalizations that led to states actually banning the stuff. So, now, Four Loko is just another malt beverage, sold in tallboys in a variety of primarily unnatural flavors.

Usually, we include the criteria by which we judge products in our rankings. In the case of ranking Four Loko flavors, it’s pretty straightforward. We were looking for the best tasting Four Loko, which is to say, Four Loko flavors that were the least objectionable and at least somewhat pleasant to drink.

Is this a ranking of all Four Loko flavors? It is not. It is a ranking of all the Four Loko flavors I could find at various 7-Eleven locations, gas stations, and liquor stores. We’ll continue to update this ranking as new Four Loko flavors come into our possession.

Here are eight Four Loko flavors ranked from worst to best (or, at least, most palatable).

Strawberry Lemonade

Four Loko Strawberry Lemonade

Four Loko

Four Loko Strawberry Lemonade tastes nothing like pink lemonade. It tastes like battery acid with a mild twinge of strawberry. It’s sharp and tart and bitter, all at the same time. The one “positive” is that it tastes the most like I remember Four Loko tasting back in its caffeinated days. So, if you’re really jonesing to relive that one night, then this might be the best Four Loko flavor for you.

Credit: Merc / Four Loko

Rating:

2/10

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Gold

Four Loko Gold

Four Loko

Four Loko Gold flavor tastes like an energy drink. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to taste like, but Reddit agrees that “energy drink” is a pretty good guess. Some folks specify Monster or Red Bull, and I definitely get a lot of tart and bitter Red Bull flavor. Love Red Bull? Wish it was alcoholic instead of caffeinated? I’d say this is the best flavor of Four Loko for you, though my tasting partner Emily Fleming loves Red Bull and did not enjoy the Four Loko Gold flavor.

Credit: Merc / Four Loko

Rating:

3.5/10

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Sour Grape

Four Loko Sour Grape

Four Loko

Some grape flavored stuff manages to not taste like grape Dimetapp. Not this Four Loko flavor! It’s quite medicinal—but if you like grape medicine then you’ll enjoy it. Personally, it just reminds me of being sick. And if you were hoping the sour quality would offset the grape cough syrup flavor, sorry, no dice. There’s really no sourness to be found. I do have one positive: It’s a beautiful purple color.

Credit: Merc / Four Loko

Rating:

4/10

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Sour Cosmic Punch

Four Loko Warheads Sour Cosmic Punch

Four Loko

This sour candy-inspired Four Loko flavor tastes like a generic, fruity malt beverage. It’s neither good nor bad. It’s fine. It’s certainly not as sour as we wanted, though. Warheads flavored stuff should have you puckering up like crazy. But after a sip of Cosmic Punch, our lips remained flat and unpuckered. Just a big meh.

Credit: Merc / Four Loko

Rating:

6/10

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Jungle Juice

Four Loko Jungle Juice

Four Loko

The Four Loko Jungle Juice flavor doesn’t really taste like jungle juice (aka fruit punch but worse, essentially). It tastes like orange soda made with orange Jell-O powder. It’s not bad, if you like orange Jello. I could probably drink half a giant can of this before giving up. But it’s certainly not the best flavor of Four Loko.

Credit: Merc / Four Loko

Rating:

7/10

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Sour Apple

Four Loko Sour Apple

Four Loko

Four Loko Sour Apple is the only sour Four Loko flavor that’s actually sour. It’s very, very sour. It tastes almost exactly like a green apple Jolly Rancher if they made sour Jolly Ranchers. (I just Googled and there are sour Jolly Ranchers, but I haven’t tasted them so I’m not sure if this actually tastes like the real candy.) Anyway, it’s tart. It’s juicy. It tastes like it was made by someone who once consumed a real apple. And, of course, it’s extremely bright green. It’s definitely one of the best Four Loko flavors.

Credit: Merc / Four Loko

Rating:

8.5/10

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USA

Four Loko USA

Four Loko

What flavor is the Four Loko USA flavor? We’re pretty sure it’s supposed to be Rocket Pop flavored, which is to say cherry, lemon, and blue raspberry flavored. To me, the Four Loko USA flavor tastes mostly like frozen lemonade—the stuff from concentrate you get in a cylinder in the frozen fruit aisle of the grocery store. It’s super refreshing. It’s tart without being bitter. If it were just up to me, this would be the best Four Loko flavor.

Credit: Merc / Four Loko

Rating:

9/10

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Watermelon

Four Loko Watermelon

Four Loko

I was worried about this Four Loko flavor at first. It smells like super-sweet fake watermelon. But the flavor is actually rather restrained. It’s a little bit tart and not crazy saccharine. It tastes like watermelon and lime, or like watermelon lemonade. Out of all the Four Loko flavors we tried, this one was the easiest to drink, making it, by default, the best flavor of Four Loko. I might even be able to finish a full Four Loko tallboy of this flavor. As much as I am a fan of the Four Loko USA flavor, the Four Loko Watermelon flavor is the most versatile and probably the most crowd-friendly. That said, please don’t buy Four Loko for a crowd. Not without the right precautions, at least.

Credit: Merc / Four Loko

Rating:

9/10

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